Patriotboy's take on the Annika Sorenstam controversy at the Colonial golf tourny this weekend:

Like many Americans, I'm pretty upset about this here foreign Annika Sorenstam woman trying to play in a PGA tournament. She's going to ruin golf. It'll become some kind of sissified girlie game. Can you imagine being forced to golf with a woman? You wouldn't be able to partake in one of life's greatest pleasures, taking a leak on the green. Where's all that beer going to go?

All the great rituals will have to go too. There will be no more bare bottomed spankings of the guy with the most strokes after the first nine holes. No more amateur prostate examinations after someone bogies. No more getting naked and tucking your "little soldier" between your legs while singing songs from "HMS Pinafore" after finishing the 13th hole. All this because some woman wants to be treated equally.

No wonder Vijah Singh --who I hope isn't French--is so angry. This Annika woman is draining all of the fun out of the game. Thank God Fuzzy Zoeller won't be there to see it.