Thursday, May 06, 2004

Now they are taking away our yucks:
Wingnuts induce satire crisis

INSULT-UPON-INJURY, New York (AP)-- Conservative commentators have induced a "satire crisis" for liberal and progressive bloggers in recent days, producing a stream of remarks so bizarre and unhinged that the blogosphere's sharpest wits are at a loss to respond, according to a statement released today by the newly-formed Association of Flabbergasted Liberals.

"It started, as it always does, with Rush Limbaugh," noted an AFL spokesman. "First he said that the torture and rape at Abu Ghraib was nothing more than you'd see at a Britney Spears or Madonna concert, or maybe Lincoln Center, and now he's saying that it was just a bunch of people 'having a good time.' What can you do with that? Look at Ezra Klein over at Pandagon-- all he can do is say he's speechless at this stuff. It's all any of us can do. Seriously, Limbaugh can work himself into a froth about Bill Clinton transferring some people out of the White House travel office, but when he's faced with systemic human rights atrocities-- and not just any atrocities, mind you, but really vile atrocities involving innocent Iraqi civilians, women, and children, atrocities that will damage irreparably America's moral standing and foster rabid anti-American sentiment throughout the Arab world, as even the most delusional neoconservative in the PNAC house knows by now-- first he associates them with Lincoln Center liberals and then he calls them 'a good time'?

"But it doesn't end with Rush," the spokesman added, on condition that he not be identified as one of the left blogosphere's many anonymous pundits. "Take Linda Chavez's recent argument that Abu Ghraib is to be blamed on women in the military. Did you know that that one column killed six Daily Show jokes that were already in production? What are we going to do now, blame Abu Ghraib on gay marriages in Massachusetts?"

The strain has been felt most severely at Tom Burka's site, "Opinions You Should Have," as Burka works overtime to try to stay ahead of the massive right-wing mental collapse. "It's like trying to outrun a tsunami," Burka might have said if I had interviewed him. "Yesterday I posted a story about Bush blaming Clinton for prisoner abuse in Iraq. But I'm well aware that before too long, someone in the Bush administration will have basically cribbed my work line for line-- particularly the line,

"President Clinton's failure to act directly caused the horrors we have discovered today," Bush continued. "If President Clinton had invaded Iraq when he should have, this would never have happened."

Oh we're toast, alrighty. Laugh, or die.....

Link via Pacific Views.